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Random thoughts and updates and a plethora of nonsense

it's true... so enamored have i been to FakeCrack that I have temporarily abandoned my favorite BLAB forum. Blah blah blah ... i'm back.

I have been keeping journals and writing random crap while i've spent the last 10 months rollercoastering between insanely happy in the company of my friend I met in Dec in Baja, and realizing he's "Not in Love with me, and never will be" as he declared on the Playa this year at Burning Man. Heartbroken.

But we are best friends. And want to be that. And trying to get there with him in constant company was clearly not working. So we agreed to cease and desist until I can be his friend and be in the company of his new girl (he met on the Playa) and stop pining for the fjords.

How long is THAT gonna take? Wisdom says until i find another love / lover. But I'm so damned picky and naive that *that* ain't likely to happen anytime soon. So I have emersed myself in projects (posters, my still-unfinished book, website design, motorcycle maintenance and a little bit of zen) until i get my heart straight and my head back in balance. I'm getting there. Been working on it since Burning Man. But when he stayed at my house for 2 weeks or more at a time since then, i kept falling mroe and more...

Now i have a chance to be a friend - forever! yo! unlike his girlfriends who never seem to last more than a year - if not just a few months.

Where am i ?: home
: indescribable
Tunez !: Gouge Away, The Pixies